And so into the CT scanner I went, for my ‘planning’ scan. The one so the surgeon knows which bits to ensure he chops off and which bits to leave behind. Seen as the first time he operated on me last June he left a diseased lymph node behind he’d better get it all out this time!
I am lucky I have an incredibly supportive Macmillan nurse who must have stolen my wand because she arranged the scan at very short notice so the report was available to discuss with the surgeon.
And that’s when things went wrong, again.
You see we walked into that appointment fully aware and a little sad that despite everything I now need a mastectomy. All this time and all that treatment and there is more cancer, new cancer in my breast. So that’s it, she’s clearly got it in for me so she needs the chop. What we weren’t prepared for was the surgeon telling us there was a ‘highly suspicious lesion’ (assumed cancer) of 7mm in size (different to the cyst found on a scan last summer) on my liver. I had no words. Literally stunned silence…… The surgeon mentioned surgery (whilst the Macmillan nurse shook her head) and words like ‘palliative’ and ‘Royal Marsden’ were used….. Eventually I burst into tears, telling anyone who’d listen that I had small children. This just wasn’t fair.
An urgent MRI was needed to confirm that diagnosis, which was done three days later and I promptly then hopped on a plane to see my best friend in Spain before discussing the plan with my oncologist upon my return.
During this time, and with a lot of support from others. We researched different alternative treatments to compliment the NHS, and I radically changed my diet.
I prepared myself to do battle with the beast. However I can honestly say this time period was probably one of the lowest of my life…… There’s nothing that scares me more than the thought of leaving my beautiful family. I carefully selected the people I wanted to talk to, avoided the school run, and was having anxiety attacks.
As I was preparing to return to the UK, I had visited our favourite shop in Spain (Ale-Hop, look it up) and was awash with gifts for my unknowing children and my mobile rang….. It was the Macmillan nurse. She knew I was in Spain, but this couldn’t wait, it was urgent, she had news.
It was a cyst.
I have ANOTHER cyst on my liver……
Well I cannot begin to explain the elation and tears, my friend’s poor son (7) was wondering what the hell was happening and we had to explain I’d had GOOD news.
This rollercoaster just keeps on going, and in the meantime I STILL have active cancer in my breast and lymph nodes. And tomorrow we find out when they are taking it out.
I’ve dropped 2kg since starting my new diet and I’m six weeks out of chemo.
Bring it on.